The 78th Psalm

1. Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. 1. O pray, may my eye turn unto God who writes of miracles. Lo, time, love, hope.
2. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: 2. By all of my mind I'll speak out. Lo, I wrap truth in wierd analogies.
3. Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. 3. The old ink has vouchsafed what word under Heaven? Ah, "Warn!"
4. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. 4. We shall confirm to their kids what the chosen men of old hath done, and where; to learn the worth of their enlightened thoughts, their most inspiring war deeds.
5. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: 5. The proper Jewish mom hath told her kids daily about Abraham and Isaac, and then if new wicked influences menace them, they halt sin, hold on to their roots.
6. That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: 6. To let each choice son and daughter bred, see what noble works the honored men in olden time have done; which rich truth might thrill them.
7. That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: 7. It's not good to knock my truth; a few men might then go to the dire depths of shame-breeding paths.
8. And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God. 8. Will these babes of ours be good or bad. That depends. Good tots, hating that sin, that error that Satan wants them in, if we urge a great inner anti-sin in their hearts.
9. The children of Ephraim, being armed, and carrying bows, turned back in the day of battle. 9. Taking blame, the northern tribe of cry-baby cowards did run, hide and flee the campaign.
10. They kept not the covenant of God, and refused to walk in his law; 10. Lo, not knowing the Lord they've sunk anew to a disaffected path;
11. And forgat his works, and his wonders that he had shewed them. 11. And seeketh not, and hath hid from what? His shrewd, sage words.
12. Marvellous things did he in the sight of their fathers, in the land of Egypt, in the field of Zoan. 12. In thy flight from the Nile, in zone east of the river, the hand of God split sea in half. Thugs died.
13. He divided the sea, and caused them to pass through; and he made the waters to stand as an heap. 13. He has dumped a devastating disaster and death on the much hated steeds. Waste one Pharaoh!
14. In the daytime also he led them with a cloud, and all the night with a light of fire. 14. The tuft of white in the air will lead them ahead. Holy candle hath lit dim goings.
15. He clave the rocks in the wilderness, and gave them drink as out of the great depths. 15. Sad trek? Draught which had delight, even like the vast ocean, seeps from rent stone.
16. He brought streams also out of the rock, and caused waters to run down like rivers. 16. H-two-O gushed from cracked stone; reveals unusual resort. Drink at it, shower, boat! 
17. And they sinned yet more against him by provoking the most High in the wilderness. 17. The mighty God is irked by non-valiant men. They sin. In His throne's power, He gets mad.
18. And they tempted God in their heart by asking meat for their lust. 18. The thin, slim, hungry men did beg to partake of the dietary treats.
19. Yea, they spake against God; they said, Can God furnish a table in the wilderness? 19. Teeny faith! The Lord's Yankee genius is able to dish a sandwich, egg, and a pastry!
20. Behold, he smote the rock, that the waters gushed out, and the streams overflowed; can he give bread also? can he provide flesh for his people? 20. Ah, doth God produce potable flows from the harsh stones for survival? He does. Big help! We need rather the meat, the cheese, and cakes to live.
21. Therefore the LORD heard this, and was wroth: so a fire was kindled against Jacob, and anger also came up against Israel; 21. His children in disaster area keep order? God had an absolute fit at the news of amoral and arrogant Jewish scalawags!
22. Because they believed not in God, and trusted not in his salvation: 22. Did vain, evil, inconstant guys burn to death? He's able to see it done!
23. Though he had commanded the clouds from above, and opened the doors of heaven, 23. Aha! God had dumped much bread onto the chosen, from the oven of loaves he'd done.
24. And had rained down manna upon them to eat, and had given them of the corn of heaven. 24. Had an humane covenant? Amen! He had not deprived them of a dinner. Gnaw on that food!
25. Man did eat angels' food: he sent them meat to the full. 25. O, the needs! God made the tasteful manna to fill them.
26. He caused an east wind to blow in the heaven: and by his power he brought in the south wind. 26. How the unchained air hath been blown up west and north by the divine gust. Oh, wide oases!
27. He rained flesh also upon them as dust, and feathered fowls like as the sand of the sea: 27. Israel, a host, needed more stuff to keep fed, as a thousand hens fell. Hail hash and stew!
28. And he let it fall in the midst of their camp, round about their habitations. 28. Outside His heir children bite that fat bird meat, fill up on that manna too.
29. So they did eat, and were well filled: for he gave them their own desire; 29. Ah! a wonder! Lo God's delivered them sweet feathery relief in the wild.
30. They were not estranged from their lust. But while their meat was yet in their mouths, 30. The fattest generation, it wisheth trouble. They murmured tiresomely. What whiners!
31. The wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them, and smote down the chosen men of Israel. 31. He saw most red at the sight of malcontent men and women who feasted. Ah, He offed the most corpulent.
32. For all this they sinned still, and believed not for his wondrous works. 32. Thankless in a world of errors, of devils in us, they'd not bend to His will.
33. Therefore their days did he consume in vanity, and their years in trouble. 33. Their raunchy sin, behavior done yesterday, did insure them a rotten life.
34. When he slew them, then they sought him: and they returned and enquired early after God. 34. They, worry? When Hell did ensnare them, God threatened the quite naughty freed humans.
35. And they remembered that God was their rock, and the high God their redeemer. 35. The mad God hath cringed. Meek, they regretted their harebrained whoredoms.
36. Nevertheless they did flatter him with their mouth, and they lied unto him with their tongues. 36. The truth? Humanity withheld it from God. His love in eternity ? He withheld it! Sure netted shame. 
37. For their heart was not right with him, neither were they stedfast in his covenant. 37. Heaven hath withdrawn inheritance from these egotists. Why if it isn't the terror!
38. But he, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not: yea, many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. 38. Did one annoyed unhappy Lord inhibit that fierce vengeful ire from time to time, and, sans that mad rage, quit hurting his wayward sons? Yeah, absolutely!
39. For he remembered that they were but flesh; a wind that passeth away, and cometh not again. 39. Note: ache due! The men's breath was a temporary whiff, and that's why an irate God let them be.
40. How oft did they provoke him in the wilderness, and grieve him in the desert! 40. Do the warm thirsting folks ever dishonor Him? Then the divine eye did weep!
41. Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel. 41. A Stop-the-Lord Federation mumbled inane talk: "Hey! cheat God, deny Deity!" 
42. They remembered not his hand, nor the day when he delivered them from the enemy. 42. He'd hereby send the men wrath; remind them they need rely on him to have freedom.
43. How he had wrought his signs in Egypt, and his wonders in the field of Zoan. 43. Thus he let Zion go. Why? When frogs did sting Pharoah, when a son died: finis!
44. And had turned their rivers into blood; and their floods, that they could not drink. 44. Did that very odd red current inundation then tend to kill fish? Abhor loath odors! 
45. He sent divers sorts of flies among them, which devoured them; and frogs, which destroyed them. 45. Thus he, God, covered them with horrid swarms of insects; they died of the germs and flesh venom.
46. He gave also their increase unto the caterpiller, and their labour unto the locust. 46. A loath bug there ate the tree. Lo, voracious insects ate up all their lunch or dinner.
47. He destroyed their vines with hail, and their sycomore trees with frost. 47. Via his cold whim he destroyeth these, their wines and forest territory.
48. He gave up their cattle also to the hail, and their flocks to hot thunderbolts. 48. O, the Lord shocked all the sheep; after that the bulls too, via hot cutting rain.
49. He cast upon them the fierceness of his anger, wrath, and indignation, and trouble, by sending evil angels among them. 49. Howling Egyptians caught in God's mire, as thrashing forces from Heaven beset, innundate, and entomb thee, Nile land!
50. He made a way to his anger; he spared not their soul from death, but gave their life over to the pestilence; 50. The irate God erupteth; therefore in his wrath they've no salvation from disease, coma, the plague. Bleed!
51. And smote all the firstborn in Egypt; the chief of their strength in the tabernacles of Ham: 51. I gotcha, son! By lethal strength hath he entombed certain riff-raff in their stone temples.
52. But made his own people to go forth like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock. 52. Despite enemies, God  now urged his folk to flee home, led path back unto Israel with kind help.
53. And he led them on safely, so that they feared not: but the sea overwhelmed their enemies. 53. My Lord released you; he defeateth the evil heathen foes and entombs them in the waters. 
54. And he brought them to the border of his sanctuary, even to this mountain, which his right hand had purchased. 54. I, God, have bid them come forth unhurt, then south, this drab harsh way to high-up sacred Sinai, and thence north.
55. He cast out the heathen also before them, and divided them an inheritance by line, and made the tribes of Israel to dwell in their tents. 55. With the eminent credential of the Lord, the men in all tribes did have the beatific treat: a share in the booted enemy's land and houses.
56. Yet they tempted and provoked the most high God, and kept not his testimonies: 56. Not meek, they did sink to empty depths; O God notes viperish men that got death.
57. But turned back, and dealt unfaithfully like their fathers: they were turned aside like a deceitful bow. 57. Like a wildly untrue, unstable, ineffectual dart, he did cut off the law breakers; burned they take hit, die.
58. For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images. 58. Hey! he that hath envied their gods' improper fame got glum and sick. Who? I Am. Not jovial, his ire grew very hot.
59. When God heard this, he was wroth, and greatly abhorred Israel: 59. Ah, how the Lord has anger when he regards a tribe's tawdry idol.
60. So that he forsook the tabernacle of Shiloh, the tent which he placed among men; 60. O, God hath chosen arch-foe heathens whom hell infects, to obtain the temple ark.
61. And delivered his strength into captivity, and his glory into the enemy's hand. 61. Very hotly, indignantly, he did hand over his gems to pathetic tainted sinners.
62. He gave his people over also unto the sword; and was wroth with his inheritance. 62. He vieweth what Israel's sons worship under: an idol! Ah, woe! The north go captive.
63. The fire consumed their young men; and their maidens were not given to marriage. 63. A grim turn here: he cremated their native sons; women did groan: "I meet no fine guy!"
64. Their priests fell by the sword; and their widows made no lamentation. 64. Battle's heat? When holy men did die in it, damsels wept not for warriors.
65. Then the LORD awaked as one out of sleep, and like a mighty man that shouteth by reason of wine. 65. O ya! When God's alarm went off, he, like one that hath been drunk, emitteth a loud noise: "Apostasy!" 
66. And he smote his enemies in the hinder parts: he put them to a perpetual reproach. 66. Oh dear! The pain! As he hits these more Satanic people in the rump, the tender rump! 
67. Moreover he refused the tabernacle of Joseph, and chose not the tribe of Ephraim: 67. "Praise the esteemed fourth brother of mine?" Ha! eleventh son of Jacob reproached!
68. But chose the tribe of Judah, the mount Zion which he loved. 68. Oh mob of north ceded; he utilizeth south bunch, via the Jew.
69. And he built his sanctuary like high palaces, like the earth which he hath established for ever. 69. Like a wise architect, he hath charted his huge faith shrine by the lush olive peaks' herbal land.
70. He chose David also his servant, and took him from the sheepfolds: 70. The Lord of the Cosmos has loved this naive kid of a shepherdsman.
71. From following the ewes great with young he brought him to feed Jacob his people, and Israel his inheritance. 71. This low boy charged with the life of pregnant sheep, has just been made in charge of our whole religion: "O! I'm it?!" 
72. So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands. 72. So since then, this destined farm boy hath taken mighty fine care of his God's huge truth-shielded fold.